


Kissogram: The Who Sent It Mystery

by Inner_Devil



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Charts, Complete, Confusion, Diagrams, Ficlet, Fluff, Graphs, M/M, Oneshot, SO MUCH FLUFF, Valentine's Day, kissogram, one chapter, surprise, the fluffiest, who sent it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 14:33:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5589850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inner_Devil/pseuds/Inner_Devil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John decides to send Sherlock a kissogram as a joke one Valentine's Day, knowing his best friend doesn't believe in celebrating it. But when Sherlock is shocked that someone would send one to him and throws himself into trying to discover the sender, John realizes it may have gone a bit overboard. Will he reveal himself or let Sherlock believe it was someone else?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kissogram: The Who Sent It Mystery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [your-holy-nerd.tumblr.com](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=your-holy-nerd.tumblr.com).



> John thinks he's funny, though he really does love Sherlock. And while Sherlock loves John, he never celebrates Valentine's Day, nor does he believe the man feels that way about him. Let's see how John's holiday prank turns out for them.

It was Valentine's Day and couples were displaying their affection everywhere. Really, it made John a bit disgusted, yet a bit lonesome as well. He was in love with Sherlock, but he couldn't say anything. Sherlock wouldn't feel that way. Though little did he know that Sherlock thought the exact same about John. But this Valentine's Day was a bit different than the rest. While other Valentine's Days would've been filled examining patients and wishing the day was over, something caught the blonde's eye today. An ad for a kissogram. It wasn't too expensive and he thought it would be a cute prank, so he called and decided to get a woman in a sexy army outfit to tell Sherlock someone loved him, give him a rose, and then kiss his cheek before leaving. It would be hilarious, he was sure.

So that day, while Sherlock and John were on scene for a crime, a woman with dark brown hair and green eyes in the army get up strutted up to Sherlock and turned him around. 

"Excuse me? Are you Sherlock Holmes?" she purred. 

"I am," Sherlock answered. "You're working your way through university. Your family and friends don't know you do this. Neither does your boyfriend, or he would insist you not."

"So? If this weren't my job, I couldn't do this," she hummed, kissing Sherlock's sharp cheekbone. "Somebody loves you," she whispered in his ear, tucking a rose behind it before strutting off again.

John could hardly contain his mixture of amusement and jealousy as he watched the woman flirting with a hopelessly clueless Sherlock. When the brunette turned around again, John straightened up and glanced over at his friend. "So, what was that about?" he asked. 

"Yeah, Sherlock. Who's sending you a kissogram?" Greg teased, not noticing the slight stiffy Sherlock had gained from seeing the army clothes in general.

"A......a kissogram?" Sherlock mumbled, clearly stunned by it all. He turned to John. "John, we need to return to the flat. I need to do research," he told the man, soon rushing off. 

John sighed, following his flatmate to catch a cab. They headed home, though John wasn't sure exactly what Sherlock wanted to do research for. He didn't really care either. He was too busy replaying the image of Sherlock in his confusion being kissed by the woman and trying to figure out who and what and why. It was all he could do to keep from bursting out laughing. But he was sure it would all blow over. Sherlock would eventually erase it from his mind palace to make room for something else and he'd forget what a kissogram even was. It was nothing. But when they got home, Sherlock rushed to his laptop and pulled open multiple tabs. Glancing over, John noticed the following searches open: 'Kissogram', 'what is a kissogram?', 'why people send kissograms', and 'kissogram purpose'. Sherlock was researching kissograms.....He really didn't know what it was all about.

"Hey, Sherlock?" John commented. "You know today is Valentine's Day, yeah? When most people usually, ya know, show each other how much they care for one another? Maybe that's where your kissogram came from. You know, why it happened today. Someone's got a crush and they want to tell you anonymously." He figured he'd offer some advice, since Sherlock was genuinely confused.

Sherlock just nodded and continued with his work. Since he seemed distracted by all of this, John decided to leave him alone. He went out for the afternoon for drinks at the pub with Mike and Greg. They hadn't had time to chat over a few pints in ages. So he went out for a few hours, returning around 6:30 pm to the flat. The sight that greeted him was a surprise though. He found Sherlock surrounded by charts, graphs, diagrams, and multiple origami figurines. The brunette was muttering something to himself and John caught the occasional name.

"Sherlock? What are you doing?" John asked as he came inside, hanging up his coat. "What is this mess?"

Sherlock glanced up, furrowing his brow. "I can't figure it out, John!" he sighed in exasperation. "The kissogram! I have no idea who sent it to me. I've tried everything. I made a list of people who could've sent it to me, diagrams of the likelihood of each person having sent it. I even made charts of who would've known my exact location at that time to send the kissogram. But I can't figure it out!"

"And the origami?" John asked, glancing around.

"I got stressed," Sherlock commented. "That's beside the point! I need to figure this out." He went over to the list he'd made. "I've eliminated Mycroft from the list. He doesn't have enough emotion to have sent it and he wouldn't have told her to wear those clothes. It couldn't have been him. It could've been Lestrade. He knew where I was. But so did Donovan and Anderson. They could've all done it. Or just the two of them. The Woman is most likely though. What the kissogram said. 'Somebody loves you'. That's what The Woman said. It must've been her! She would've known how to find me and know my exact location at the time the kissogram would've been sent. She's back in London! That means there's more cases, John! We have to go find her!"

John glanced at all of the work Sherlock had put into this and sighed, noticing the detective hadn't even considered that his own flatmate would've sent it. He also saw that even someone like Anthea or Kate or even Moriarty had been considered! Molly Hooper was the first name on the list, though she'd been crossed out as well. John agreed on that one. She would've been too shy to send a kissogram, for fear of being found out. She couldn't have sent it. And no one else on the list would've. Moriarty never would've sent one like that. It would've been more cryptic. But when Sherlock started rushing towards the door to leave, John had to stop him quickly.

"Whoa, whoa! Sherlock, slow down!" he insisted, grabbing his friend's arm. "It wasn't her. Irene Adler did not send you that kissogram." He sighed and lowered his head a bit. "I did. I thought it would be funny. But.......damn it, Sherlock, I love you. I love you and I'm tired of hiding it. So however you feel, William Sherlock Scott Holmes, I'm head over heels in love with you and I want you to know it."

Sherlock stood there in utter confusion when he heard John's speech. He, for once, didn't know how to respond. There were no words pouring from his cupid's bow lips. There were no smart retorts. Just silence. And quite frankly, it scared John. So he did what any illogical, love stricken man might do. He rushed forward and kissed his love interest hard, pulling him close and pouring in as much passion as he could muster. When he pulled back, Sherlock was blushing softly, hair tousled a bit and expression completely stunned. John sighed. That was it then. Nothing. He turned to leave, but felt a hand grab his wrist and pull him back, dragging him into another heated kiss. When they finally parted again, Sherlock whispered into John's ear, "Somebody loves you too. And I don't need a kissogram to do this for me." He smirked, kissing John's cheek. John was stunned for a moment before laughing and kissing Sherlock once more, hardly able to believe that this was real. But it certainly was the perfect end to his wild Valentine's Day. He couldn't ask for anything more with his life.


End file.
